I hear that from many clients.  Doesn’t matter how old they are.

Adults:  “I don’t feel like exercising.”  “It’s too hard to give up drinking.”  “I don’t feel like telling my son that I appreciate his positive behavior when I’m this angry at him.”  “It’s too hard to market my business, shift my perceptions, do the mirror exercise, tell the truth and anyway I don’t feel like it.”

Teens:  “I don’t feel like washing the dishes.  And anyway it’s too hard to do by myself.”  (Yes, I heard that said by a teen whose parents want her to wash the dishes – and they have a dishwasher!)  “I don’t feel like working.  I want to have the summer off.”  “I don’t feel like doing my homework, respecting my teachers, walking to the bus, cleaning my room.”

Children:  “I don’t feel like it” is expected from children because they are often driven by their impulses and feelings.  Their brains haven’t developed enough for them to stop and think about the consequences of their behavior.

The real issue here is that our feelings are not guides to action.  I have said this before in this blog, but this is so important that I’m talking about it again.

Listen up:  Pay attention to your feelings.  Absolutely.  Awareness  of your feelings is critical for joy and success in your life.  Your feelings are your inner compass.

But just like a compass on a boat, the compass doesn’t tell the boat where to go or how to get there.  That depends on your destination and your choice of the route.  Your feelings give you information about how you are being affected by someone or something.  But your feelings give you no information about what to do about the situation.  That decision might take creativity, objectivity, intuition, boldness, compassion, understanding and ALWAYS an awareness of your destination or goal in this particular situation.  What outcome do you want here?  You decide and then choose the route (your actions) that will take you there.

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Copyright Anne Pustil 2011, http://www.CoachingInANutshell.com