That’s one of the Four Agreements in the wonderful book by Don Miguel Ruiz. Many of my clients challenge me on that one asking how it’s possible to not take things personally. Then they usually give me an example of a situation where someone was angry with them about something.
Not taking things personally doesn’t mean not taking responsibility for something we have done and making amends if necessary. What it does mean is that if someone is angry with us and blasts our character instead of talking about our behavior, we can’t take their comments personally and believe that we are who they say we are or that we are bad because we did something that upset them.
If we want a good relationship, we have to take responsibility for what we did and apologize or talk with them about it. They have to take responsibility for how they feel about what we did and talk with us about it.
Character assassination does not lead to warm, loving, honest relationships. But we often do that when we’re hurt or angry because we take it personally when someone hurts us and assume that their behavior was intentional and meant to hurt us.
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Copyright Anne Pustil 2011, http://www.CoachingInANutshell.com
>…we can’t take their comments personally and believe that we are who they say we are or that we are bad because we did something that upset them.
Thanks for the reminder Anne 🙂
You’re welcome, Jenn! Thanks for joining me here on this 365-day journey to your best life.