I was at a workshop many years ago when the trainer challenged us to not complain about anything for at least a week. I don’t remember having taken him up on the challenge in any serious way back then.
I volunteered at a charity golf tournament yesterday. I do a few of those every summer. It’s one of the ways I give back to my community. They are a lot of fun, there’s always tons of great food and almost everyone is happy because it’s (usually) a day spent in the sun playing.
But (you knew there was a “but”!), this is Vancouver, B.C. and it rained. The entire day. Every minute. Vancouver is definitely one of the most beautiful cities in the world. It’s green and blooming all year. Because it rains. A lot. I know of many people who moved here from other parts of Canada and moved back home after several months because they would rather have the serious cold and the sun than the warmer weather and the rain.
So a frequent complaint in Vancouver is about the rain. But the amazing thing yesterday was that almost everyone who signed up for the golf tournament showed up in great spirits and had a great day.
Not one of the golfers complained about the rain. Or the fact that it wasn’t very warm.
But one person did complain – about the rain and a lot of other things. After a while, I was really aware of the fact that I was in a hurry to end our conversations because of her complaining. I knew it was raining. I was out there, too. She also thought that someone had stolen her umbrella and she would never see it again. (C’mon, it’s a charity golf tournament!) I assured her that someone had likely taken it by mistake – or borrowed it – and would return it. And sure enough there it was back in the clubhouse at the end of the tournament.
In any case, I wanted to end all conversation with her as quickly as possible. I started to think about how much we complain and how our complaining affects us and other people. The dictionary defines complain as “to express dissatisfaction, resentment; to find fault; to lament a condition or wrong”.
So I am making a commitment to be aware of my complaining attitude and talk and to banish complaining from my life every day for a week beginning today, Sunday, June 5th. Both inner and outer complaints. The ones I dump on other people and the ones I repeat inside my own head that bring me down and make me even crankier when something happens that doesn’t please me.
And guess what? You’re invited. I will post on my blog every day for the week and let you know how I’m doing, how it feels to catch myself complaining, to stop myself before I “share” my complaints with other people and how others are reacting.
What do you say? Are you up for this? Leave comments on my blog to let me know that you’re involved and how you’re doing. I’m committing to you that I will post every day for a week how my non-complaining journey is going.
Oh, and one more thing. When someone else complains to me, I will either not join in or I will let them know what I’m up to. Either way, I will see what happens.
C’mon – take the plunge with me. You can’t fail, but you just might make some interesting discoveries about yourself and your life.
I’ll explain the newsletter’s subject line “I’m not complaining, I’m just being realistic” on Monday’s blog.
See you there.
Dear Anne,
Funny, I was sitting here this morning making my yearly birthday list of things I am going to change and one of them was to stop any negative talk or complaining. Surprise… your email arrived shortly after. Thank you! I am on board with you for at least one week and I look forward to hearing about your journey, as well as fully participating in my own. I also have a plan to simply observe others if they complain and not get attached to it. There is a lot to learn from that practice alone I believe. Good luck, and here we go! Best wishes, Sonja
Dear Anne,
Funny, I was sitting here this morning making my yearly birthday list of things I am going to change and one of them was to stop any negative talk or complaining. Surprise… your email arrived shortly after. Thank you! I am on board with you for at least one week and I look forward to hearing about your journey, as well as fully participating in my own. I also have a plan to simply observe others if they complain and not get attached to it. There is a lot to learn from that practice alone I believe. The world would be a kinder and more compassionate place sans all the complaining. Wait, was that a complaint? 🙂 Good luck, and here we go! Best wishes, Sonja
Happy birthday, Sonja! We were obviously in sync this morning! Thanks for joining in and please invite family, friends and associates to come on board as well. The more the merrier! Please let us know how your plan to not get attached is going and how your intention for the week works out.
Warmly,
Anne
I hear you and I take the plunge with you … either we whine or we shine … which will it be.
Hi Carol,
Wonderful – thanks for joining in! Please feel free to invite family, friends, etc. to join in. Let’s get as much positive, conscious energy out in the world as we can. I love your expression “Either we whine or we shine”! It would make a great book title. Please let us know how your week shapes up.
Warmly,
Anne
Anne – LOVED the article – and I started trying to work on this last week, however I found myself surrounded by others that blew me out of the water with the complaints. Holy cow, what did I do then? Reverted back to my old ways is what I did. So… I’ll start again, and realize that others are out there trying to broadcast the positives, limit the negatives and I’ll join in with that group exercise!
Wish me luck – and I’ll wish you that as well!
Hi Kathy,
Welcome aboard! I agree – it will be so much easier to expand and shift your energy when you are part of a community of like-minded people. There’s going to be a lot of positive energy and awareness bubbling in this group this week. Please invite your own community to join in as well and let’s see how big we can grow this intention.
Good luck!
Warmly,
Anne
I am so thrilled go be able to do this challenge with you. It’s amazing how when you stop to try to not complain you become aware of how unconsciously the little voice inside of you is lamenting about something and it’s usually related to finding fault with ourselves. I’m in this week I am committed to no complaining and more importantly if I do cat h myself to congratulate myself for doing so and stopping rather than beat myself up.
Hi Mona,
Thanks for joining the challenge! You are so right about the little voice inside us and how it finds fault with us. I will be posting about it this week. A great big cheer for not beating yourself up if you catch yourself complaining. Even if you don’t stop complaining, the awareness is what’s really important and the place to start to make changes. Please invite others to join in to support all of us and to be part of the shift.
Warmly,
Anne