Coaching in a Nutshell

Are you ready to wake up and create the life that you want?

Tag: comfort zone

This Is Your Game Piece

September 8, 2013 /

I recently returned from an amazing retreat led by the brilliant John Kehoe, the world’s foremost expert on the power of the mind and the subconscious.  John is the author of Mind Power (now called Mind Power Into the 21st Century), the #1 bestseller celebrating its 25th anniversary that sold over 2 million copies.

One of the things John talked about was that our body is our game piece.  Bottom line:  If your body isn’t healthy, it makes it more difficult to be in the game.

The problem is that most of us don’t pay much attention to our body until it protests in pain or breaks down in some way.

You know that the mind-body relationship is real and powerful.  Your mind (your thoughts, perceptions, beliefs and attitudes) have a profound effect on your body.

But, don’t forget that your body has a powerful effect on your mind.  Have you ever been cranky because you haven’t gotten enough sleep?  Impatient when you were hungry?  Has intense pain ever brought your life to a halt?  Have you ever felt more energetic, happier, calmer or thought more clearly after a good workout?

It really is simple.  Eat well.  Sleep enough.  Get your body moving.  Drink lots of water. Relax.  Ignore any one of these and your body will eventually speak up.  Ignore it for too long and your body might start yelling at you.  Are you listening?

Let’s take sleep.  We are among the most sleep-deprived people in the world.  It affects our mood, our relationships, our behavior at work, our alertness, our thinking, our health, our energy and our ability to deal well with everyday life.  So, if you’re tired, you just might want to take your exhaustion a little more seriously.  And then do something about it.

Just as we have to love ourselves first before we can truly love others, true listening starts within. Listening to what our game piece, our body, needs to keep us in the game.

Last week I said that you would be able to register for my upcoming Coaching In A Nutshell group coaching program this week.  I’m still working with my team to get all the nuts and bolts of my coaching program in place.  I’ll open up registration as soon as it’s ready so it will be a smooth and easy process for you.  I appreciate your patience.  I really want you to join me so that I can help you get to where you want to go in your life.  I’ll let you in on a few details of the program:

  • You Get TWO Live Group Coaching Calls with Me Each Month
  • Each Call is 90 Minutes
  • You Have the Opportunity to Ask Any and All Questions About Getting Unstuck, Finding Balance, Fulfilling Your Heart’s Desires, Goals and Visions, Dealing with Conflict AND…Get the Answers Specific to Your Situation
  • You Can Learn from Others in the Group As They Get Answers to Questions That May Not Have Occurred to You

There will be more including a bonus…

I recently left my part-time work as a family and couples therapist so I have some openings for private clients who would like to do more intensive one-on-one work with me.  I work in person and on the phone and on Skype.  If you would prefer to work with me privately, please contact me at [email protected].

Your Life is A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

February 3, 2013 /

And there are two payoffs:  1) You live safely in your comfort zone.  And 2) You get to be right.

Your mind is so powerful that your beliefs usually become self-fulfilling prophecies  – your predictions about what will happen in your life.  How does that happen?

Your perceptions about people and life and your beliefs about what’s possible for you and what you deserve drive your behavior.  Your behavior creates certain outcomes in your life and responses from others.  Those outcomes and responses are often exactly what you believed would happen.

It’s really a very simple and straightforward equation:

You believe something → You take action on that belief → Your outcomes are a result of your actions → Your outcomes generally confirm your beliefs.

So you say, “I knew that would happen”.  That’s your self-fulfilling prophecy.  And when it happens again and again – that’s your life.

Here’s an example:  I have two clients, Ellen and Lorraine (not their real names).  Both of them are engineers and were recently let go when their companies downsized.

Ellen believes that it will be extremely difficult – if not impossible – to get a good job as an engineer because the economy is bad and people are struggling to find good jobs.  (This is her prophecy.)  So what does she do?  Ellen’s belief directly affects her behavior so she puts out little effort, isn’t persistent and doesn’t follow-up which leads to no job.  Her belief (that she won’t find a job) becomes a prophecy which she fulfills by her behavior (little effort, no follow-up or persistence).

Lorraine, on the other hand, looks around and sees that there are lots of people who are finding jobs, making money and enjoying their lives.  She believes that she will find a great job as an engineer doing the kind of work she loves.  Because of her belief that she will find a job (her prophecy), Lorraine is persistent and works really hard to find work as an engineer (her behavior).  And of course she is successful and finds a great job (her self-fulfilling prophecy).

I am not suggesting that we create everything in our lives by our beliefs.  That is up to you to decide.  I know that our subconscious is immensely powerful and that our beliefs (our prophecies) about how things will turn out are often correct.  But it’s not magic.  It’s how our beliefs and perceptions affect what we do in our lives and our relationships and the outcomes we get as a result.

What would you do differently if you believed differently and how might that change your results and your life?

Are you willing to try something?  Pick a situation in which you’re not happy with the results you have been getting.  What are your beliefs about that situation?  What action do you usually take?  What is the typical outcome?  Then ask yourself what would happen to your results if you changed your beliefs and then did something different?  Or, if you’re really brave, just do something different in spite of your beliefs.

Step outside of your comfort zone.  Change your belief (your prophecy).  Change your behavior. See what happens. Different beliefs→ different behavior→ different results???

Let me know……

Something new:  I love speaking with people who have great ideas about how to live an extraordinary life so I will be starting an ongoing interview series.  Twice a month I will interview interesting and inspiring people who are challenging us to live boldly and courageously.  Most of the interviews will be only 30 to 40 minutes so you can find time to listen in your busy life.

Our first interview, on Valentine’s Day, is with a Los Angeles Matchmaker who will talk about how to have more love in your life.  I’ll send you all the details next weekend about the live interview and the replay.

Talk to you next weekend.  I hope you’ll join me on this next leg of our journey together.

Get Out Of There Before You Suffocate

December 30, 2012 /

Your comfort zone.

It will choke the life out of you.  But your fearful mind will feel better if you stay in your comfort zone because you’ll be safe.  Maybe not happy or fulfilled or excited about your life or contributing or involved.  Safe and comfortable, which is all your fearful mind cares about.  Because its first concern is your survival.  Not your happiness, your joy or whether your life is meaningful.

But your soul, your life force, your inner spirit – whatever you want to call that inner flame that feeds on love, purpose, growth, passion and joy – gets most of its fuel outside of your comfort zone.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”  Neale Donald Walsch

We are at the dawn of a new year.  Start from here.  Wherever you are.  And walk boldly towards possibility and opportunity.

Do you know why we so desperately hang onto safety?  Why we’re afraid to venture outside our comfort zone?  We’re afraid that we won’t be able to handle whatever comes our way.  And that we might fail.

So we cling to safety.  And shrivel up inside.

“… and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”  Anais Nin

I am declaring 2013 the year of sailing outside of our comfort zones.  Not forcing or pushing or struggling or slogging or striving or fighting.  Those are painful and create inner resistance.

Sailing.  Get ready for some rough waters, big tides and strong winds where you’ll learn how to navigate this journey of your life to the destinations of your dreams.  And, as any experienced sailor knows, get ready, too, for those magic days of calm waters, sunny skies and perfect, warm winds where everything just flows.

Can you imagine what your life will be like if you get out of your comfort zone again and again in 2013?  As I ask my clients (and myself), are you willing to try something new and see it as an experiment without judging or needing to be guaranteed of the outcome?

Have a wonderful New Year filled with love, joy, excellent health and the courage to sail outside your comfort zone.  As always, THANK YOU for taking the time to read this newsletter and for sharing your comments and your experiences with me.

I look forward to offering you more opportunities and getting to know you better in 2013.  Let’s navigate these uncharted waters together.

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