The #1 cause of stress in your life:
- Your significant other?
- Your work/your boss?
- Too much to do?
- Your teenagers/parents/inlaws?
- Whether you should go on the all fruit, no fruit, no carbs, low carb, only carbs, no gluten, low gluten or who cares diet and does that mean that I can’t have wine?
No, the #1 cause of stress in your life is your mind.
Your tries-to-scare-the-pants-off-you and tells-you-that-you’re-never-good-enough fearful, critical mind. It can’t help it. That’s its job. The problem is that your mind is too good at its job.
Our mind’s purpose is to help us survive. That’s Mother Nature’s priority for us – the survival of the human species (in spite of our best efforts otherwise). Your mind doesn’t really care if you have fun in your life. Survival. Period.
Your mind is expert at scaring you by conjuring up all sorts of problems and issues and worst-case scenarios and criticizing you for the decisions you make and the things you say and do. Just in case. To keep you in line so that you don’t do something that might jeopardize your safety.
Add to that the belief that it matters what other people think of you and your life and you have the recipe for an unhealthy, nasty-tasting, indigestible stress pie.
No, no – it’s not the things outside of us that stress us for the most part. It’s what we tell ourselves about those things. It’s believing that we can’t cope. Otherwise we would relax, live more in the moment and deal with things as they show up.
When you’re upset or stressed your body is being bombarded with a cascade of hormones and chemicals to help you fight or flee that saber-toothed tiger that is ready to pounce on you, threatening your life.
But wait a minute – there is no saber-toothed tiger.
- It’s a traffic jam
- Or a conflict with someone
- Or too many things to do
- Or not succeeding at something
- Or getting outside your comfort zone
Not a life-or-death situation.
But your body doesn’t know that. It was given its marching orders from a part of the brain which responded to the all-hands-on-deck-there’s-danger-ahead alarm that your mind issued.
So your body has, in essence, used a cannon to shoot a flea.
It’s all about your perceptions and how you see things. Which is why you often don’t stress about the same things as others. Want proof? Remember when you told a friend or family member who was stressed about something to “Just relax. It’s no big deal”. (C’mon, you know that’s not helpful.) That’s because your thoughts about the situation were different than theirs, so it wasn’t stressful for you.
Your interpretation of a situation. Thoughts. All thoughts.
But, it doesn’t have to be like that.
Da, da, da, da! Anne to the rescue!
(Ok, my hair isn’t blonde but I love the cape and the shoes…)
Mark your calendars. December 4th. Limited to 20 people. Me and you. A crazy low price. (Wait and see.)
Shattering your personal myths about stress and putting you in control. What would it be like to really enjoy the holiday season this year instead of needing a holiday after the holidays?
I’m just putting the finishing touches on it. Details next week.