Well, I have to admit that I’m a bit surprised. I am pretty aware of my thoughts and feelings but I really didn’t realize how much my inner critic complains, criticizes and judges. We’ll deal with the criticizing and judging in another challenge, so I’ll stick to my gremlin’s obvious love of complaining here.
Right now, I’m just being aware of the when and what of my complaining. How often am I complaining and what are my complaints about? I don’t complain as often to other people as I do in my head. But while I was working yesterday I noticed how often my gremlin was unhappy about something and had to comment. Even in my yoga class, my gremlin was complaining about how hot and stuffy the room was when I walked in!
This ongoing, noisy, cranky, onerous, time-consuming, silly running commentary inside my head about how things don’t measure up or should be different is amazing to me. I had no idea how much of my thinking time it is actually consuming. This is really eye-opening. How wonderful!
Oh, I knew that my inner critic could be a cranky complainer. But it is amusing to me to see how much complaining goes on and here’s the kicker. How do you think all the complaining that we do affects our perceptions, our feelings, our behavior and our relationships? Our complaining creates negativity inside us that leaves us feeling drained, unhappy, negative and not the powerful beings we truly are.
Right now I’m continuing to observe. Expanding my awareness of my inner critic’s tendency to complain about things. Tomorrow we’ll talk about what to do once we’re aware.
Oh, I said I would explain the title of my newsletter yesterday, “I’m not complaining, I’m just being realistic.” I was talking with a friend about complaining and she said that, whenever her husband complains about anything, he always says that he’s not complaining, he’s just being realistic. Well, a rose by any other name is still a rose… (Which, I just discovered is not what Shakespeare actually said. He said “A rose by any other name is still as sweet.” You get my drift.)
Remember: awareness does not include judging yourself. As I said, I’m actually quite amused at what I’m discovering. My inner critic/gremlin has a lot to say. Now I will teach it how to speak powerfully in a positive way and to play nicely!
Have a great day – with or without your complaints. See you tomorrow.
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Copyright Anne Pustil 2011, http://www.CoachingInANutshell.com
It really is amazing how accustomed we are to accepting this little voice constantly editing things in my life. Thanks for the challenge.
You’re welcome, Marcella! It’s also amazing how quickly we can challenge the little voice when we are aware of what it is telling us.
Warmly,
Anne
I never really thought about quantifying how much time is taken up in my head while battling that little inner gremlin. Thank you for pointing this out! My favourite accounting like saying is what you can measure you can manage. So if I’m aware of it I can make a goal to reduce it (ok, get rid of it altogether).
Thanks Anne!
Hi Melanie,
Awareness really makes a difference. Just by being aware of our complaints, we can then look at them and decide how we want to deal with them. There’s so much freedom in awareness.
Warmly,
Anne